It's the oddest feeling being both excited and terrified at the same time...

So I am sitting on my spot on the couch for one of the last times as a regular resident of the farmhouse on the dairy. It's exciting and totally terrifying at the same time. I am excited about moving on to the next stage of my life, but nerves are all over me. And it's just the usual stuff. Will I be able to pay the bills, will I end up flunking out of OSU, will I fail at life in general? Just wacky stuff like that.
Then of course I'm going to miss my babies. I have been involved with the rearing and caring for the calves on this farm for ten years. Everyday of every week, for the last ten years. And to not be involved in their lives anymore all the time saddens me greatly. I mean, I have put many hours of hard work into rearing them, and now...I have to leave it to other people, and I find I don't like that very much. LOL. I know, I know, the others will be perfectly good calf feeders, but I can't help it. They're my babies.
And then of course there's Penny, and Sailor. To not see them everyday is going to hurt as well. But I will be back for visits.
On Monday I move to Corvallis. It's a great apartment and I know that I will make lots of friends and love living there. Plus I will be working on the OSU farm, so I won't be completely separated from what I love the most. All I have to do is just keep my eye on the target, and that's my degree.

Oh, and I promised to keep you guys in the loop as far as it goes for getting published, and so far I've been rejected by two agencies. But I'm working on my third right now, and I know I'll get published eventually as long as I keep trying.
So, here's to diligence! LOL

As Comic Con comes to a close for another year...

So, as you all know, I am one of the biggest geeks out there. I think it all started when I was shown the very first Star Wars a the tender age of five, and I never looked back. All of this was soon closely followed by a love of Jurassic Park and other Michael Crichton novels as well, and a general love for dinosaurs.
It doesn't help that all of my favorite shows have featured panels.
My numero uno show: Supernatural.



Bones.



Vampire Diaries.



A new show that I am now hooked on, Dexter.



Of course then there are various movies and so and so on.

I guess the one reason why I want to go there so badly, is because there will be many, many more people there just like me. We would be in costumes, and talking about all our favorites shows(maybe future plot lines?) and movies.

Of course the best part would be seeing the panels. Just being in the same room as my fave stars would a be a thrill. Of course me and Khristina have already agreed to get our picture with Jensen Ackles. lol.

I would try to get into everything I wanted to. And maybe stay for the full four days. It would be an awesome vacation full of meeting people just like me, and seeing my favorite stars. I guess it's a pipe dream for the future. And maybe Supernatural will still be around. ;-)

More WWILFing. LOL

So I kinda have this theme going on with my blog right now, lol. Since some of you seem to like the goth wedding idea, here are some more photos for some awesomely gothy ideas!

I love this dress just as much as the first one. The black lace train is beautiful.



I would wear this makeup. But I would have a short, black veil.




And finally to cap it all off, the gloves. But mine would be lace, and I don't know if I would have them up to my elbow...maybe just my wrist.




Haha, I know it's a funny theme idea. But, with the right circumstances, it would be great. I know I'll probably just end up wearing the regular white dress...ugh...but for me, this would be awesome.

I get inspired easily I guess.

So in my last post, I showed you all a picture of a goth wedding dress that I just loved. And then I decided that I wanted my own wedding to be a really classy, goth wedding. So I was sitting in church last Sunday and came up with my own dress.
Now, I know that it will never happen, but it was a lot of fun, and I found out that I really enjoy designing goth wedding dresses. Hah, I even came up with a name for the "line."

My dream wedding dress boutique would be called "'Til Death...wedding and bridesmaid dresses." And it would cater specifically to brides who wished to have a brilliantly gothy, wedding.

So here's the first dress.



I might post more from my "line" but this is the best one out of the three that I have drawn. I love it when I get these weirdo impulses, even though nothing will come of it, it's still fun to dream.

Please don't judge me!

OK, so this just goes to show that I am a terrible WWILF'er (what was I looking for?) am when I go onto the internet to look things up.
So I was looking up lyrics for a song, "Wedding Plans," the ending song on Howard Shore's Eclipse Soundtrack. So as I was typing out "wedding," GOOGLE in all its genius gives you drop down options. And what did I see? "wedding dresses gothic."
Needless to say I was intrigued.
So I click on it, and a whole bunch of images pop up, and this dress caught my attention right away.



Now I was never one to think about getting married, the only thought I put into my wedding was that it was going to be as cheap and simple as possible. But now....I don't know having a really nice, classy goth wedding sounds simply awesome!

There's a reason why my blog title...is my blog title.

So, like I said in my Facebook page today, I have worked for a decade on the farm, and I have never been severely kicked in all those years. So now here I am less than 3 weeks from moving away, and I get popped in the abdomen!

My dad just bought six new heifers and they are not used to being here yet. So in other words, they don't know us yet and are very touchy and flighty. Well to make a long story short, me and my dad were trying to check her quarters, and my usual job is to hold the animal's tail to keep them still. But I couldn't get a firm hold and she jumped up and popped me just over my left hip bone. And I have pictures.

I tell my cows many times that I wish they would stay the size they are as calves, because they are much more easier to work with....and they tend to be a lot nicer too. LOL



Here is the hoofprint:



This is me in the shirt, and don't get me wrong, I'm not happy about being kicked, I'm happy that it didn't hurt too much.

Time Keeps Going...

So I'm into the third almost fourth week of waiting for a reply from the Agency...it's a loooong wait. I'm going to wait another three weeks before I decide to move on elsewhere. I really hope I don't have to though. Because this agency seems to be like such a perfect fit for me. But if they don't think it fits with them, then I need to find someone who does. It's just hard to keep waiting. I'm getting to a certain point where I know if they want more they'll send an email, but at the same time am losing hope.

But hey, even Stephanie Meyer, and JK Rowling didn't get called the first time either. So, there will always be more choices. I just keep telling myself that.